This is my latest artwork that I have been diligently working on for the past month. Even though it isn’t finish yet, I wanted to share it from the bottom of my heart as God has been urging me to. I wanted you to look and feel the anguish and the pain of the woman as she is being tortured with the poisons that plague many in this world today.
Sadly, many women and young girls are plagued with the idea of hating themselves and are swarmed with the materialistic ideas that sit on the magazine racks day after day. Sex appeal, photoshop, body weight, fashion, money, fame/popularity are common things on women’s minds instead of loving themselves and embracing what God gave them when He created them in the womb.
How do I know?
I walked on that road as a teenager. Not many know my testimony because I was ashamed to tell it. I’m not afraid anymore.
Here we go. I hated myself for many many years. I hated my body and my existence. I believed I was a mistake. I looked at the ideals in the spotlight and loathed myself. In order to feel happy, I would do things to get approval, but it wasn’t my class mates I wouldn’t seek approval of. It was adults. However, no matter what I did, I was never truly happy. My jealousy of others grew along with my hatred for myself.
I never did drugs or things that were illegal. In fact, I was considered a goody goody in school. However, my good actions didn’t matter, especially to me.
Then I met Jesus as I sat on a recliner in my grandmothers home. He came to me through a preacher on TV saying that He loved me no matter what. I didn’t have to do all these acts to prove myself to Him. He loved me and He wanted my heart.
That was so freeing.
On June of 2010, I started my relationship with Christ. With that relationship began a journey of loving myself as Christ loved me. It was a journey of seeing myself as God intended me to see. It involved setting aside the worthless idols of this world and leaning on the One who matters the most. Things got better in my life as I started to change my focus and attitude.
I’ve only had one hiccup.
In 2012, I got into a relationship with someone who was very abusive, manipulative, and a constant player. By the end of our relationship I had given up on counting how many women he had been messing around with.
Even though I had ended the relationship, I went away broken…again. I told myself I wouldn’t go back to old habits, but it was hard when you had the voice of the abusive man telling you that everything was your fault and comparing you to other women.
Anyway, as I moved on to my next relationship (with the man who would become my husband), I told God to cover up the problem instead of healing. Big mistake. I thank God everyday for this man God gave me, because I started to buckle under the hurt. Finally, I snapped and sat before God crying for help and healing.
Long story short, He healed me. In the process of healing, He has put a journey on my heart to understand His love. In turn, it’s given me a burden to show others His love fir them.
He loves me. He loves you. He wants to heal you.
Do you want to take that journey?