Even though I had to dissolve an abusive relationship with a man that really didn’t care about me, it still hurt. After telling the man that I was through with him and didn’t want him contacting me or my family ever again, I cried. For days after the breakup, I grieved and fell into a minor depression.
Why did I grieve when the relationship was abusive? Why did I cry for a man that verbally and physically assaulted me?
I hated being alone and breaking up with him meant I was going to be alone.
So I grieved for what was remaining of my final year at college. I was semi-happy at the graduation party, but deep within I still grieved. Everyone had someone at that party. I had no one to share that with.
Finally, I ended up praying to God about being alone. In my time of recovering, I had gone to Him many times and was starting to develop to a deeper relationship with him. However, I still wanted some kind of companionship with a man. I didn’t want this one relationship to scare me away from the dating scene.
As I prayed to God, he urged me to go to an online dating site. I know, it’s weird to think that God would tell me to go to a dating site, but He did. At the time I was saying to God, “Uh, God are you sure? You know, I’ve watched a lot of things on TV about how dating sites produce some bad things.” Even though I doubted, He kept nudging me to do it.
And I joined a dating site.
At first, I thought this was going to be a disaster. After scrolling through the various profiles that this site supposedly said matched me, I wasn’t too happy with the fish that was out in the pond. Various times I had to tell men that I had morals when they asked if I would come over for a “casual time”. Other times, there were men who thought my idea of a relationship was stupid and tried to push their beliefs on me. In that process, I started to doubt that I had even heard God.
Then I started talking with this one guy. We messaged each other for a period of two weeks. Finally, he asked me to coffee. I said yes. We met at the coffee shop. We got married a year later.
As I started to date my husband, I felt a joy that I thought was gone after my first relationship. You see, you may have had some terrible pain and suffering in your life, but after the hurt comes joy.
In the Bible, Adam and Eve had a terrible tragedy. Their son, Abel, was murdered by his brother, Cain. Because of that, Cain had to run away. In a way, Eve lost two sons in that incident.
Further on in the story, we see God bring joy back to the couple. Eve conceived once again and gave birth to a son, whom they named Seth. In Genesis 4: 25, Eve says, “God has granted me another child in place of Abel, since Cain killed him.”
It doesn’t matter what you have been through. May it be an addiction, a conviction, a divorce, a breakup, an illness, a death, or a tragedy. You will feel hurt and grieve. Grieving is a normal process within a human. But after the grief, God will bring joy to you. In my situation, God lead me to my husband. Just like me, He’ll bring something your way that will fill you with joy and praise.